When something new is born

The benign rumble is curling everywhere, and here is desperation for noise,
With holding the breath i have waited, in patience held poise.
like the acoustic lives within silence, silences we ought to rend,
just because it did start, every song is supposed to end.

Just like when something new is born, its end is made already,
Somehow we will be able to get it done, it will always be undone ultimately.
When every afflatus thrives on skeptics, skeptics to then suspend,
Nonetheless it might actualize, every new thing is realized in its end.

Beads of sweat shining against skin, vigor pulled tight,
End at a length of bandeau, arise at the gun-shot.
Nothing can start without its finish, finishes we forever procrastinate,
That it could not quite begin, every race was to unless terminate.

Skin shattering against skin , grip meets face in rose mayhem,
Men and their means changed, but fights remain the same.
For every push there is a pull, pulls to otherwise pretend,
Surer than it must begin, every fight must come to an end.

loose control..

All of a sudden i rouse in pain
high was the hangover mixed with shame
relieving was the darkness; indeed my best friend
was thinking hard why my mind played that game.

Can't remember the no. of pegs i took
seemed was drinking in hopes of falling in coma,
my false identity was in its pristine form
it make my emotions cry and mind did all this drama.

Something was rushing inside my veins
don't know how but was increasing the pain,
desperate efforts to concentrate was in vain
connection with mind was lost and i can not sustain.

Don't know from where recognized a hand
was similar to the person who died couple of years back,
it was the perfect time to loose the heart-mind strand
fake feeling of love and emotions did the rest

This was the second time i lost control due to this
gained consciousness when my heart asked whom am i cheating,
the person u are taking about hated booze like anything
and remembering him when ur head is inside bottle is sacrilegious.

Feeling of shame was not because of the defamation
itz becoz all these thoughts rushing through my head,
flaunting fake emotions was false identity's creation
flouting my most sacred relation was making me dead.

Don't know what should i do to make it go away
it is haunting my mind every second of the day,
Last Night was alone in a room of people having fiesta
today in chaos while sitting in a room hunting for siesta.

What had happened to me where is the connoisseur
all is left is an inane dilettante,
hope one day the drunk inside me will let me out
for sure never again will I drink and shout,
Until that time I will asphyxiate and hate
what i can do is just hope that's not my final fate.