Walking the path!

Walking any path can be difficult in three circumstances, if you don’t know how to walk, if the road is entirely not walk-able(either your senses makes your body run towards the pleasures in the path or there is some unavoidable blockage) or if you are too lazy to walk. I have no idea how many paths are available in this world to walk but my understanding says there is only one spiritual path which makes you “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”. Hey, I don’t mean you start aging backwards and end up in an orgasam. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen but yes chances are very high that while walking down the path you will become a child and if things get better, your-self will grace you with the glance of itself. Amazing No!   

The path which a spiritual person walks is slant and full of soap lather. Irrespective of the fact that whether you are walking slow or fast, chances are very high that you came back to the place from where you have started off in no point of time, if not careful or for the matter of fact even if you are careful you are bound to fall, yeah now dont fret or fume that's the tacit way of saying eeehawww from the nature. The question here is how to get rid of this merry-go-round. Let me be very frank there is no way out, but Grace. We all should remember that It’s the self which has chosen you for the path and it is up to the self to decide whether to reveal itself or not. So, take a chill pill baby as nothing is in your control. Now you can argue that what’s the point of walking the path and I'm sure we all 'pathwalkers' have heard of the example where a person after 5-10-20 years of outlandish spiritual practice left the path or gets diverted from the path. I believe those people were suppose to walk only that much, maybe some important job (may be sex or murder or collecting gold coins) were left for them and they have to carry those impressions for a more meaningful next life. If they got diverted it simply means their priority changed, or maybe they got bored or maybe they were very sure about the self customized power of some invisible force and when one string got pulled Spirituality ki "Ram Naam Satya Hai"(In Hinduism when a person die, the other soon to die living people remember and chant Ram's name and announce to the world that that's the Ram's name is the sole truth, Funny! Is it not?), Poor Puppets. And to answer the question of what’s point of walking the path. This path leads to nowhere but yourself, so what’s point in walking? you have got legs and you have to walk, You dont have any option but to procastinate. Please don’t over think much on this.

The major problem with 99% of the spiritual seekers is the fact that they are Hypocrite. Blessed are the ones who know they are hypocrites, because we have the tendency to defend every act of ours with our intellect and unfortunately most of us do that and refuse to accept the fact that we are hypocrite. Those who know they are hypocrites and still some false sense of the belief is there that somehow they are going to cross this cesspit sea (read Bhavnagar here) are the real folks who live in disillusion. May be nature in preparing for one more final life, of-course once their most precious temple i.e. body is bombed. Actually, Its kinda cool; for example: To continuously preach about the EGO and getting uncomfortable with every situation and everyone. And those who know they are hypocrite, continuously aware about their hypocrisy and still they are walking the path surrendering their hypocrisy to the self who brought him/her onto the path and are nothing but blessed.

Often when we look at any Sangha(Spiritual Institution) and think about the stupidity/hypocrisy of the sanghis (people of the sangha) it makes us feel sad and we start wondering how could this person can walk the path and be dearest to the head of Institution. Let me tell you these people are much better in the institution, if they are in outside world just imagine how brutally they will be engaged in making other’s life miserable. So these people are especially taken care of in every institution to serve two purposes; first, to create illusion and second to save the world.  The key here don’t pay heed to these people because of three reasons, one: they are meant to make your life miserable, second: they are helping you to know at their cost that what the world and meaning of spirituality will be if you inherit traits of theirs and third: believe me at a level where there is no two, there is no difference between you and that idol of inanity.

So the question arises here is whether one should walk on the spiritual path or not. I will say Yes! walk the path because you don't have any option and walk it for fun not to achieve a goal because that’s going to disappoint you, I believe if you set a goal you will never be able to achieve it and even if somehow against all the odds you achieve it, believe me there is nothing out there but you. Always remember the path may make you miserable, your faith will shake thousands of time, you may become the greatest hypocrite ever but keep walking with full awareness because it’s the only path which makes you happy without any reason and you will continuously be in touch with your very existence. i.e LOVE! 

The Dilemma

This is coming only because of the fact that last evening a colleague who is from a literature background had praised my writing skills. Had I not been associated with a guru I would have named the title as "The prisoner's Dilemma". But they say take it for granted that you are free when you are with a guru. If I am free the there should not be any dilemma and id I am in dilemma it is quite evident that I'm not free. This is catch 22.

I have always been a not so normal person with heart of a drunk and a kid. A year before I desperately used to defy and deceive that childish behaviour of mine which later I was told from my friend that it comes out with a bang everytime I was drunk. Today, the situation is such that without drinking or anything most of the times I'm high and the child is there but this time the childishness is replaced by child like. Being a child like is good because you dont live without any apprehension. But, it has its own course of action.

It's been a couple of days Since I'm having such weird feeling. The day my senior told me to start looking for another job It scared the hell our of me. I'm not scared because I would leave this job. Because to be frank this job is bit boring. I'm scared beacuse things might happen that I would have to leave some friends like Nishit and Tanya. As I am writing this line I simply can't explain the suffocation which is there inside me. Something is there which comes out in the form of tears. An hour before I was simply unable to resist my tears (though I did because I was in cafeteria. Every time it happens there. Oh Boy!). Why because Nishit is supposed to take his first happiness course. When Asked a friend about it she (you know who!) said "what help? Its nice to be happy in others happiness." Little did I knew that being emotional and crying without any reason is a sign of happiness. Anyway but that is not the point. The point is the love which takes its form because it is already there. May be when guruji says "It doesnt matter to whom you love..". I think this dilemma made me learn a valuable lesson today that Love is something which I am made up of and irrespective of person place and things, its probability of coming out depends on the recognition of the depth of the love.

Chalo thik hai!

The Lid and the Lunchbox - Doctrines Vs Child

I don't know why but I think I should write this:

Just Now I saw Sundar, a colleague of mine cleaning his Lunch box and right on the table there was a shiny steel cover of that box which was dirty few minutes ago. Guess who had enlightened that lid of the lunch box - Me!

Well, after the "Yoga Neendra" when I resumed my chair to do some work, Sundar offered me some of the pomegranate seeds & green grams. Initially I thought should out-rightly reject his proposition as I was full but then I felt it would be weird to reject the kind of love which an another reflection of yours wants to share it with you (Heavy advaita words! Is it not). Respecting his offering I said "yes!", and took few of the seeds. After a while I finished the same and got too busy with my work. Meanwhile, I forgot to clean that Lunch box lid. Then after an hour or so Sundar came and said "give me the lid". I said "no, it is my duty to clean it up because I was the reason of the leftovers inside that lid." After initial moral-friendship persuasion,  sundar left the box on the table and left for some work. I picked the lid and saw the box, someone inside me said that take the box with you as well, but I didn't. Not sure whether it was my ego or I was being too practical which made me not to touch the box in which sundar ate. I went to the washroom and cleaned the lid and make it shiny and put it next to the dirty box.

As I saw Sundar cleaning the box and I thought "Why the hell I didn't cleaned the box?".  And the every present guilt consciousness nibbled me gently but fortunately I got over it soon. There are few points to take into consideration.

1. The fact that I don't wanted to be an externality on sundar. I was having this Swami Vivekananda Type of belief that "If you have disheveled something it is you who is supposed to clean it up". But what about others dirt, whose responsibility is to clean it up??

 2. If I was at sundar's place, at the time of cleaning the Lunch box I would be very disappointing over the way I had been behaved. Was it the correct way to behave?

3. What about the Love and the Adavita (the one) philosophy which I always believed. Where did it went all of a sudden when the actual time came to implement it.

If someone is reading this I am damn sure s/he must be thinking that what kind of ass has written it. For objectivist, what I did was more than correct because this is the way one should behave. For Idealist It was indeed a great act to clean your mess of your own. But what about a kid who is there inside all the time, crying not because he wants to dissociate himself from the good old rock solid doctrines or so called principles but because he don't want his share of LOVE to compromise in the name of Principles.

Maybe Bharti Ma'am (My Boss at ILO) is right when she says "Just do what you love to and don't be football of others opinion".

Maybe I can feel these all unimportant things because of the increased "AWARENESS" 

"Crafting an Effective Writer: Tools of the Trade" - My final Paragraph Assessment Detail

Your grade is 88, which is simply the grade you received from your peers. See below for details.

Topic #3

Identify and describe at least three (3) ways a person, male and/or female, is recognized as an adult in your culture.

Adult in any society is recognized primarily by his biological and legal characterization, but in India, a land of diverse and ancient culture, adulthood primarily deals with maturity. An adult is someone who knows the art of living. According to many ancient book of oriental wisdom, an adult(man/woman) is recognized by three ways viz. thought, deeds and voice.

The most easiest way to recognize an adult is through his voice, because it is the easiest projection of one's self. There are three types of voice viz. soft, harsh and normal. Soft and harsh voice are at extremes, while those having soft voice could be recognized as an adult depending on its gravity, people having harsh voice are often not treated as adults because it signifies lack of maturity. As far as normal voice is concerned it lies somewhere in between soft and harsh voice. The voice which hurts nobody is a normal voice. Those who know when to modulate their tone according to the circumstances keeping in view of thers feelings are generally recognized as adult. 

Second most important trait of a man is his deeds or Karma. Deeds are often bifurcated as good deed or bad deed. Philosophically speaking, it is very difficult to bifurcate between a good deed or a bad deed. Depending on the viewpoint, good deed can be bad deed for some one and vice-versa is always true. Good deed is something whose repercussions doesn't harm anyone and bad deed is something whose repercussions always harm someone. Those persons who continuously strive to do good are considered as adults.

Thirdly, the most complex one, thought. Thought is something which determines the genuinity of a person. A good thought can never harm someone and is never against someone, that's according to Mahatma Gandhi is true form of non violence. A person having good thought is indubitably an adult because it is reflected by his behavior and all the above two, voice and deeds respectively are automatically the highest. As far as bad thought is concerned, it is related to immature person who lacks true wisdom, he/she may be biologically or legally adult but in his own just eyes he is never an adult. The good thought and bad thought can be considered as selfless thought and selfish thought respectively, and orient culture never acknowledges a selfish person an adult.

The person, be it male or female, whose voice, deed and thought are good, that person in real sense is an adult. In true sense adult is someone who is wise enough to check his thoughts, just enough to check his deeds, rational enough to control his voice and enlightened enough to know the art of living.

Evaluation/feedback on the above work

Note: this section can only be filled out during the evaluation phase.

Addresses Assignment:

Score from your peers: 10

Topic Sentence:

Score from your peers: 10

Organization:

Score from your peers: 5

Unity:

Score from your peers: 5

Transitions:

Score from your peers: 5

Specific Details:

Score from your peers: 10

Concluding Sentence:

Score from your peers: 10

Sentence Variety:

Score from your peers: 10

Style:

Score from your peers: 10

Spelling/Homophones:

Score from your peers: 4

Verb Forms:

Score from your peers: 4

Capitalization:

Score from your peers: 3

Punctuation:

Score from your peers: 2

Overall evaluation/feedback

peer 1 → i am also an indian and i loved reading it.

peer 2 → The paragraphs convey a lot of great ideas. It is indeed a very well-written article, if I may call it so. All that is missing, are a few finishing touches here and there. Otherwise, great work!

peer 3 → My friend, this is really an eye-opening writing; I'm deeply impressed by the India version of "what being an adult mean", you are a people of great wisdom and benevolence. Besides, I would like to inform you that your writing is in want of conjunctions and pronouns in certain places.

peer 4 → The phrase " that's according to Mahatma Gandhi is true form of non violence" it is either " that's according to Mahatma Gandhi it is the true form of non violence" or " that's according to Mahatma Gandhi it is a true form of non violence". The phrase "The most easiest to recognize an adult" is grammatically incorrect it is either "The most easier" or "The easiest".

sick wish !

Whenever m sick (wait a second! For my intelligent readers lemme clarify that this sick is not a figure of speech its literally) and vulnerable I have this very thought of unraveling the mystery of life after death, so I pray to god that make this day my day of Armageddon or in less easy words hit me baby one last time aka kill me!! But deep down inside I know god, if he exists, has got better things to do than to hear my Sick(both literally and figuratively) wish !!

So I was having this uncanny thought at 10 p.m and was also felling bit sleepy, all of a sudden one more thought came. When I was in class eight, there was a boy named Shantanu moitra who eventually used to be my best friend, the only paradox is I never have meet him ever since. I thought, yaar what if tonight god has got nothing serious to do and he mistakenly paid undesirable heed to my plead, mera tooh kahani khatam. So I opened my lappie and start searching the aforementioned person one last time, guess what i was lucky to find him. I then send a friend request to him and within 5 mins he accepted that. cool is it not ! I thought yaar gajab ho gaya, its been a while (12yrs to be exact) since I had heard of him and all of a sudden he is here ready to chat. Great !!

We chatted like old lost friend, exchanged sweet memories with our contacts number. He told me that his father once again got transferred to Jamui and right now he is in the same apartment where he used to live 12 yrs back, I was very happie to hear that. When i queried about his mom and dad, he told me that they are on tour and they will be arriving not before tomorrow noon. He then told me that's the reason he can stay online as long as he wanted to, because his parents were away and he had the house to himself. We stayed there for a few hours exchanging sweet memories. Soon enough, my mum began calling out for me to go to sleep. As I was about to log off, I asked Shantanu what he was doing tomorrow, thinking he might want to stop by my place and have some nice time. He didn't reply for a while, in his chat box i was seeeing this message

“Shantanu is typing a message." Then it went blank.

“Shantanu is typing a message.” Nothing again.

I thought leave it I’m going to bed, tomorrow we will talk about it. It was strange for him to stop replying like that.

Next day when I logged on to facebook chat I saw his green light was on. He apologized for not replying last night and said he had just been busy. He asked whether I was alone in my house. I said yes! He then told me that he wanted to come over soon to meet me as he had something really important to show me, and he said he would come over soon, saying it was urgent, and then logged straight off, this increased my curiosity.

I was waiting for Shantanu when my land line rang. I got amazed to hear shantanu's dad's voice on the other end of line and i thought "wow yaar he still remember our land line number". But they were sounding bit worried as he was not in home and they thought the only person he knew in this town is me. They asked if I knew anything on Shantanu's whereabouts, to which I told them not to worry, because he was in fact on his way over my house. The phone fell silent for a moment until I heard a deathly scream from his mother in the background on the other end of the line. The father drew a deep breath, and shouted. “ Shantanu's here… He’s dead.” They had found Shantanu's lifeless body hung up on the fan in his room. I ended the call in shock, as it became apparent why he had asked if I would be home alone. All of a  sudden I heard the door creak open.

I was scared like anything so i quickly led under my bed to hide. I heard the sound of footsteps coming closer, ever so slowly. I dared not to open my eyes, but when I horrendously peaked through my fingers, I saw these pale yellow, cold, bare feet coming in to my room, almost in slow motion. I would hate to see the person such feet belonged to. As it slowly approached the bed, my heart was pounding in my mouth and I held my breath. The whole room was filled with fetid smell of a rotten dead body. Just when I couldn't possibly get any more scared, my phone let off a loud tone of a howl of a hound to notify me that I had received a message. It was from Shantanu's phone and read: “Where are you pal ...its been a while, (to be exact 12 years) i have got something very Important to tell you ?” as the feet stopped precipitously, lifeless in their foot-mark, I was half dead by then.

I was very sure that this very moment was to take among the few breaths I have left in me. All of a sudden every thing became very clear to my agnostic mind as it was confirmed that god/ghost do exists and finally he made my sick wish the biggest or say the worst and perhaps the last nightmare of my life. I was too scared to scream. Then I heard another loud knock on my door I was scared like anything thinking whether my all lost friends are dead and this time they wanted me to be the same. The rate of knocking was directly proportional to the pounding rate of my heart. When I heard the sound it was of my mother. I got so scared on the thought that this ghost of the best friend turn ghost Shantanu will definitely kill my entire family, at-least I can tell her to run away. I gathered all the available courage and opened my eyes, an found myself lying on the keyboard of my laptop, knocking continued, and me drenched with sweat thinking about my Sick Wish...!!!

When something new is born

The benign rumble is curling everywhere, and here is desperation for noise,
With holding the breath i have waited, in patience held poise.
like the acoustic lives within silence, silences we ought to rend,
just because it did start, every song is supposed to end.

Just like when something new is born, its end is made already,
Somehow we will be able to get it done, it will always be undone ultimately.
When every afflatus thrives on skeptics, skeptics to then suspend,
Nonetheless it might actualize, every new thing is realized in its end.

Beads of sweat shining against skin, vigor pulled tight,
End at a length of bandeau, arise at the gun-shot.
Nothing can start without its finish, finishes we forever procrastinate,
That it could not quite begin, every race was to unless terminate.

Skin shattering against skin , grip meets face in rose mayhem,
Men and their means changed, but fights remain the same.
For every push there is a pull, pulls to otherwise pretend,
Surer than it must begin, every fight must come to an end.

loose control..

All of a sudden i rouse in pain
high was the hangover mixed with shame
relieving was the darkness; indeed my best friend
was thinking hard why my mind played that game.

Can't remember the no. of pegs i took
seemed was drinking in hopes of falling in coma,
my false identity was in its pristine form
it make my emotions cry and mind did all this drama.

Something was rushing inside my veins
don't know how but was increasing the pain,
desperate efforts to concentrate was in vain
connection with mind was lost and i can not sustain.

Don't know from where recognized a hand
was similar to the person who died couple of years back,
it was the perfect time to loose the heart-mind strand
fake feeling of love and emotions did the rest

This was the second time i lost control due to this
gained consciousness when my heart asked whom am i cheating,
the person u are taking about hated booze like anything
and remembering him when ur head is inside bottle is sacrilegious.

Feeling of shame was not because of the defamation
itz becoz all these thoughts rushing through my head,
flaunting fake emotions was false identity's creation
flouting my most sacred relation was making me dead.

Don't know what should i do to make it go away
it is haunting my mind every second of the day,
Last Night was alone in a room of people having fiesta
today in chaos while sitting in a room hunting for siesta.

What had happened to me where is the connoisseur
all is left is an inane dilettante,
hope one day the drunk inside me will let me out
for sure never again will I drink and shout,
Until that time I will asphyxiate and hate
what i can do is just hope that's not my final fate.